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Fodder 4 Fathers - A Dad Blog Like No Other

Entries in parenting differences (11)

Sunday
Mar302014

My Daughter Doesn't Call Me Daddy, and I Don't Care. Why Do You?

Image from The Sound of Music, 1965When I was a kid I had two dads; my real dad, who I only saw on weekends, and my step dad whose house I resided in for 8 not-so-great years from the ages of 4 – 12. Or, shall I say, my real dad who still had full rights to the title, and my step dad, who was just the kind of prick who demanded respect and made us call him “DAD” to claim dominant male status in our household. In truth, neither really deserved the title, but they both needed it to feel superior in some sick way; two little men who needed respect to feel like “big men” and each assumed a title gave them that. Well, I don’t buy in to that bullshit.


"Who cares what a young child calls their parents as long as the child is respectful?"

Let’s be honest, respect is earned, so is trust, and so is love. Just because you demand that your child calls you “Father” doesn’t guarantee that they are going to listen to a word that you say. It’s just a title, like “Boss.” And an employee should respect his employer for honoring his agreements and for treating him fairly and for allowing him (or her) to make a living, but it doesn’t mean he can’t call him by his first name, if invited to do so. So why can’t a child call their parent by their first name? And, I’m not talking teenagers; I’m talking about a four-year-old?

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Sunday
Jan192014

PARENTING WITH HATE AND THE STUPID SHIT WE DEBATE

"At the end of the day, who can really say they are right or wrong when it comes to parenting, or relationships, or how much jelly is too much on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? It's all conjecture. It's all opinion. It's all bullshit."

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Monday
Oct212013

Spare the Rod, Use a Belt? - The Better Way to Spank Your Child

Image from "Dennis the Menace"Disclaimer: This blog post is not a discussion about the pros and cons of corporal punishment as a method of disciplining your child. The whole to spank or not to spank debate has been done to death and frankly I’m not interested in arguing one school of thought versus another. But I am interested in what people use to administer a spanking if they so choose this method of discipline, and the mindset that thinks it is okay to use anything but your “loving” hand to teach a child a “healthy” respect for authority.

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Friday
Oct042013

The Fodder 4 Fathers Challenge to "Light Duty" Dads

As an involved dad, I’m often amazed at how many men have never spent an entire day, or an afternoon, or an evening alone with their kids. As I write this, my wife is out for the evening volunteering at a charity event for children with Cerebral Palsy. Me, I’m settling in for the night after feeding my kids dinner and spending a few hours of quality time with them before reading to them and putting them to bed. This is not an odd occurrence in my house. My wife and I like to think of ourselves as interchangeable. She can do things like go out for a fun night with her friends, meet a client or volunteer at a fundraiser because she never has to get in to a big argument about it. She knows the kids are in good hands with me just like I know they are in good hands with her. And to be honest, if my wife wants to go out and leave me alone with the kids, why would I mind? I mean, they are my kids too, right? But sadly, too many men don’t see it this way.


We’ve got the macho dads, and the out-of-date dads and the “I go to work, you handle the house” dads. We’ve got the selfish dads and the immature dads and the “I’m honestly and truly afraid that something might happen to the kids on my watch and my wife will kill me” dads. But these are all just excuses to me. If you really want to be a dad to your kids and not just some guy they see when it suits him, you have to get past all this BS and move beyond your comfort, or in some cases, “control” zone.

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Saturday
Aug172013

The Modern Dad - Help For Fathers - A Dad's Perspective 

"I've just got to be me!..."Recently we had the honor of writing a guest post for a community website for Moms called "Mommy Masters." We jumped at the chance to write an article for a new series they have on parenting called "A Dad's Perspective." where dads from around the Internet get to talk about their unique experiences as Parents, and, more specifically, Dads. And if we do say so ourselves, we're really porud of this post. Here's what Ellie Hirsh, the founder of Mommy Masters had to say about it:

""I LOVE this article and am so excited to share it...Whether you are a mom or dad, I hope Adam’s article inspires you. It’s a wonderful communication tool and conversation piece for you and your
(partner)."

To Quote myself, how do *I* view being a "Modern" Dads?:

"I guess you could see it as a chore, but I like to see it as a challenge, and a fun one at that. I like spending time with my kids. I like spending time alone with my kids. I like doing things dad’s way. And (I find it) easy."


Here's a link to the article: A Dad's Perspective - The Modern Dad - Mommy Masters

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