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Have a question, a query or a comment? Send Mrs. Fodder an email to: askmrsfodder@gmail.com Posters whose questions have been selected for print may or may not be contacted. All correspondence will be held in the stricted of confidence. New posts every Monday and Thursday.

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ASK THE WIFE - A DIFFERENT KIND OF ADVICE COLUMN 4 MOMS

By Jessica DolginYou've heard of Dear Abbey- well this ain't her. This is Ask The Wife, a fresh approach to answering those questions every mom has but is too afraid to ask. From "will my husband ever pick up his own underwear?" to "how do I tell my MIL to step the hell off?" Ask the Wife has an answer for you.

DISCLAIMER: Ask The Wife is for entertainment purposes only. It is merely the opinion of one mother and does not constitute expert advice in any way. If you find yourself in need of a professional opinion from a legal, medical or a mental health professional please consult with your lawyer, doctor or your child's pediatrician respectively. Fodder 4 Fathers willl not be held liable in any way for the misuse of the information provided. Note: If you are asking a question, please review the fodder4fathers.com submission guidlines and our terms of use section, All questions are posted anonymously.



Friday
Apr262013

How Do I Get My Husband to Get More Involved with the Kids?

FAN QUESTION:

Hi Ask The Wife! How can I encourage my husband to be more involved? He would rather watch TV than help with the kids, and getting him to go places that are kid friendly i.e. zoo, park, kid museum is like pulling teeth.

ASK THE WIFE ANSWERS:

I thought about this question for a few hours before I decided to answer it. Because if I’m being honest, my first response is: I have no idea. Of all the “problems” I have had with my husband (the way he loads a dishwasher, the way he cleans a baby bottle, his snoring), being an involved father is not one of them. But what IF my husband would have rather watched TV?... What would I have done? Well, if it was me dealing with this problem I would get creative with it. What would happen if your kids were the ones who asked your husband to get involved? Like, if you want to take them to the zoo, why don’t you have one of the kids ask him?... Those little buggers are cute for a REASON!! “Daddy, could you take me to the zoo today… pretty please… with a cherry on top Daddy?”… I mean, how could he say no?!??! He loves his kids, right? Well sometimes he may just need a little incentive (and by incentive I mean guilt) to get him going. We had these kids for a reason right? So use me to the best of your ability!! It’s a lot harder to say no to a sweet face with a cute voice, than it is to say no to your spouse!! Who do you think I send in to the bedroom on the weekends to wake my husband up? Yup! My sweet little 3-year-old. But on a more serious note, you might want to give your husband a friendly reminder that you got into this thing together… and you should probably be getting through it the same way.

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Friday
Apr262013

How Do You Do the Co-Sleeping to Crib Switch-eroo???

FAN QUESTION:

Q. Ok so I have a fan question for your wife since none of my followers seem to have any advice:
My son is a co sleeper. Or he sleeps in a swing, which is unsafe, but his sleep cue is the steady rocking. I NEED to break this habit but it’s hard because I live in an apartment and neighbors get upset over the crying. I wrote them notes to explain that I'm training my son to sleep in his crib, and to be patient.

Well we experimented today with a nap and it did not go well. He screamed his head off until he was choking. I soothed him then left the room again. Cried hysterically for a half hour. It killed me. I gave in and picked him up. He doesn't take a binky either. I can't take the crying. I'm thinking I'm going to have to wait until my husband gets home so he can physically pull me away and let him cry to sleep. So my Q is, any tips/tricks/advice I haven't tried or can try? P.S: my lo is 4 months old

 

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Friday
Apr262013

Sex and Morning Sickness: How Do I Explain to My Husband I Just Can't ?

FAN QUESTION:

Question for the awesome Ask the Wife: I'm almost ten weeks pregnant with our third child (one miscarriage) and I have been SO tired and have had horrible bouts of nausea; completely opposite of when I was pregnant with our daughter (she's now 2 1/2). While we were trying to get pregnant this time we "did it" all the time and had fun with it (with our daughter "it" had to be scheduled because of fertility drugs). I have had no desire for sex whatsoever for about five weeks now, though. I feel my husband thinks I've shut down the shop since I got pregnant. I haven't, I'm just so tired and just feel blech all the time. How can I make him feel I still love and am attracted to him and didn't just use him for another baby? We both work full time, him sometimes more. I love him greatly and I don't want this happy moment in our lives turning into a bitter one. Thanks!

 

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Friday
Apr262013

How Do You Teach Your Husband to Do His Daughter's Hair Comfortably?

FAN QUESTION:

Dear Ask the Wife: Was your husband ever up for learning how to do your daughter's hair? If so, how did you teach him in a way that he would feel at ease about it? My hubby is worried he might have our little girls looking crazy, but they are starting to ask daddy why he only brushes our son's hair.

ASK THE WIFE ANSWERS:
First of all, I think it's awesome that your husband is even attempting to do your daughters hair. It's not easy. We take the ability to do it for granted because we have had to do our own hair for years. It's not a man vs. woman thing...

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Friday
Apr262013

How to Handle the End of Your Maternity Leave- and Leaving Hubby in Charge?

If you're not familiar with Mrs. Fodder, here is the blog post that introduced her to the world... A frank look at how moms feel when they go back to work and how to work through it:

When Moms Go Back to Work - When Maternity Leave Ends How Do Moms Handle Leaving the Kids in Dad's Hands?
Article by Jessica Dolgin (A.K.A. "Mrs. Fodder")


"For four and a half months I woke up with my son at 6am (sometimes earlier). I fed him at 7, changed him, played with him and then eagerly awaited the moment when my husband would wake up with my 3-year-old daughter to help me divide and conquer our new life with two kids. But this has been our parenting style from the very beginning. It was an understanding we came to even before we had our first child: Co-parenting… 50/50. With the new baby, I do the mornings, he does the evenings. I give the baths, he makes the dinners. I pick up our daughter from school, he drops her off , and the list goes on and on. Long before our son was even a thought, we were parenting this way. It was always equal. It had to be … for both of us. So I have never been given reason to complain about the “lack of work” my husband does as a parent. In fact, it’s the opposite… he’s as “hands on” as they get.

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