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By Jessica DolginYou've heard of Dear Abbey- well this ain't her. This is Ask The Wife, a fresh approach to answering those questions every mom has but is too afraid to ask. From "will my husband ever pick up his own underwear?" to "how do I tell my MIL to step the hell off?" Ask the Wife has an answer for you.

DISCLAIMER: Ask The Wife is for entertainment purposes only. It is merely the opinion of one mother and does not constitute expert advice in any way. If you find yourself in need of a professional opinion from a legal, medical or a mental health professional please consult with your lawyer, doctor or your child's pediatrician respectively. Fodder 4 Fathers willl not be held liable in any way for the misuse of the information provided. Note: If you are asking a question, please review the submission guidlines and our terms of use section, All questions are posted anonymously.


Self-Medicated Mama?- Parenting with the Help of Pills?

Image Courtesy of Chatelaine.comToday’s blog post comes from a fan inquiry about the difficulties of being a stay at home Mom and the growing trend of “pill popping” amongst them in order to “cope”. It has been mentioned in the news that more and more stay at home moms are being admitted into hospitals and rehabs due to prescription drug overdoses or drug abuse (mainly anti-anxiety drugs like Xanax and Ativan). Do I believe it? Yes I do. Now here’s the thing: I certainly don’t believe that parenthood can be blamed for the need to take drugs in order to deal with stress and anxiety, but I can certainly attain to the fact that parenthood can DEFINITELY make you CRAZY!

Mommy's Little Helper  - www.KatieKouric.Com

Becoming a parents is probably the most intense, most difficult, most stressful and most life/soul sucking thing that you will ever do (there’s lots of good things about it too, LOL). No matter how much we prepare to be parents, the truth is we are never really “prepared”. Parenting is really hard and it certainly takes a toll on your sanity. So I can understand why a person (man or woman) would feel the need to find something to help them cope. Now I am certainly NOT endorsing the use of any type of drug in order to be a better parent, but I can only speak from personal experience here, and yes, this is the place where I get a little personal.

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Mothers and Daughters, Oh My!

So this morning my daughter asked her father is she could have a sleepover at her “boyfriend” Wyatt’s house and it was at that moment when I went on line looking for the latest line of chastity belts! ;-) Now while I completely understand that my daughter sleeping at a boy’s house at this age would be completely innocent, and to be honest, I wouldn’t really have a problem with it, it got me thinking. Eventually my daughter is going to become a “real girl” and I have no idea how I’m going to handle it.

I think back to when I was a young girl and the memories are vivid! I can recall asking my mom if she could buy me some razors so I could shave under my arm pits. I was 11. She was reluctant because she didn’t think I needed to yet, but she also understood that I was getting to a point where things like that were starting to matter. So she ultimately said yes, but made me promise that I would only use it for my arm pits and NOT my legs. I will never forget her telling me that if I start shaving my legs now, that it would grow back even thicker and then I would be worse off than I started. I agreed to her terms and got my razors. That summer I went away to camp and after about 30 seconds of thought, I decided to screw what my mother said and shave my legs. I mean, everyone else was doing it so I wanted to do it too! She was right when she warned me about the fact that it would make it worse, but I didn’t listen.

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What Exactly is "Women's Work??"

June Cleaver, The Quintessential 1950's MomThis post is inspired by a fan question that I read on my husband’s page Facebook today. Some might think that I would have been extremely offended by the question, (Check out the Fodder 4 Fathers page on Facebook to read it), but I wasn’t. It made me laugh. There are obviously people out there who still believe that we live in the 50’s. They wondered why my husband does all the “tucking in” before bed, and why he is the one who takes the kids to school every morning – you know – the “woman’s work”. HA!! I’m sorry, but what exactly is “woman’s work”? You see, in my house, THIS woman wakes up every morning at 4am to go to work. THIS woman works from 5am – 11:45am. THIS woman then picks up her kids at school. THIS woman then takes them home, feeds them and puts them down for a nap. Two days a week, THIS woman goes from her first job that ends at 11:45 to her SECOND job where she teaches until 4:30. This woman then picks up her kids, heads home and spends time with her kids before her husband (The man of the house) comes home. THIS woman, is also in charge of laying out her kids clothes for the morning and bathing them every night. THIS woman is doing a S**T load of what I call “woman’s work”.

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My Baby is All Grown Up - F@#%!!!!!

Lately I’ve notice some distinct changes in my daughter. She talks differently, she acts differently, she understands differently. Lately I’ve noticed that my daughter is actually turning into a person! It all started the other day when DD was asking about the ants that we have coming into the house. They’re these massive giant black ants. We don’t have an infestation or anything, but as the summer comes, so do a few ants and she’s never really noticed them before. We just put out some ants traps and we’re good to go. Except for the day that I went into the bathroom to find a SWARM of ants that had attached themselves to a holistic cough syrup bottle that my husband left out on the counter. I screamed, I screamed really, really LOUD. It was disgusting, and unfortunately my impressionable daughter came running into the bathroom. Not only did she see the massive pile of ants on the bottle (which would freak out any kid- and some adults), but she also saw my massive over-reaction to them (I know, parenting fail) and since that moment, she has been terrified of ants. Worried that they’re in her bed, in her food, on the couch, in the car, EVERYWHERE! It has consumed her.

Which brings me back to the changes that I am seeing in my daughter; we were in the car on the way home from school and she was asking me about the ants. “Will there be any when we get home? Do other kids have ants in their houses? Do the ants have parents who are looking for them?” and then the question that I’m sure worried her the most: “Do ants bite?”

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The Name Game - Should Kids Get Mom or Dad's Last Name?

Q. Dear Mrs. Fodder: If you choose to keep your maiden name, should your children take your last name or your husband's?

A. When my older sister got married, she decided that she wanted to keep her maiden name. This was over 10 years ago, and back then, at least to the people I knew, if you kept your last name after marriage you were considered to be making a feminist statement. I asked my sister why she wasn’t going to change her name and she told me that just because she’s married doesn’t mean she’s still not herself. I got it. I mean, her name is her name and it’s the one she got from my parents, so why change it, right? I guess? But where it gets a little more difficult is when children come into play.

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