Someone asked me a little while ago whether or not I was planning on writing another blog for Fodder 4 Fathers. Now while I really love writing stuff for Adam’s page and I would be happy to do it any and every day of the week, I find that my husband usually says most of it well enough. Some of you may remember my last blog (See: Don't Poke the Momma Bear post below) responding to a whole bunch of women who weren’t too happy with him over something that he said (in my house we call that Tuesday). But because I completely disagreed with them and because they brought me into it, I felt the need to come to his defence. Not that he ever needs my help; he does a pretty decent job of defending himself on his own. So what I said was as soon as someone or something “ticked me off” again, I’d sit back down and bang out another blog. I do my best writing when I’m peeved and, as Mr. Fodder will attest to, this girl knows how to fight like a mo-fo!
So what am I defensive about today? Well, I honestly can’t believe how much media and blogger attention this whole Gofundme “pay me to be a stay-at-home dad” (posted on Babble.com, March 02. 2014) thing has gotten. Believe me, I’m not complaining about the attention itself because any good sh*t disturber (meaning Adam) knows that there is really no such thing as bad publicity. It even gave us a chance to be on the air together when they invited him to the radio to discuss the controversy. But what bugs me, is the negative and UN-informed reaction he got from bloggers and news outlets all over the world. I mean, what exactly did he do and say that made everyone so angry?
Look, if I was given the choice between being a stay-at-home parent and having a colonoscopy every day for the rest of my life, I’d be bending over and taking it up the rear faster than you could say “rubber gloves!” I mean, I could never handle something like that. I honestly don’t know how many other parents do it. I truly believe that being a stay-at-home parent is one of the hardest, most tiring, most awe-inspiring jobs in the world. I bow down to the women and men who are stay-at-home parents (whether by choice or not) who spend their days taking care of their kids without seeing a pay check at the end of the week. Seriously, you are heroes! You deserve a medal. You deserve a parade. Or at the VERY least, you deserve to get paid!
"If you didn't want to contribute, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO!"
There were some of you who got mad because you thought that Adam was asking to get paid for something that millions of people do every day for free. Now, while that’s not in fact what he was doing, let’s just assume for a minute that you’re right. Let’s just assume for one second that Adam wanted to be a stay-at-home dad and get paid for it. What the hell is wrong with that? Maybe some of you are just pissed off that you didn’t think of it first. Or maybe you’re just jealous at the idea that this guy would be doing the same thing as you, but profiting from it. Does that make him a jack ass? Does that make him stupid? Ummm, no… It makes him just the opposite. It makes him a smart businessman. And it’s not like he was walking into your house and demanding your wallet. It was a choice!! If you didn't want to contribute, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO! No one was forcing you to do anything. I mean, how may spam e-mails do you get daily asking for subscriptions and such in order to be a member of whatever website or service they’re running. Hell, how many of you pay for a subscription to the newspaper and only read your horoscope and do the cross word??? (ok, well maybe that’s just my dad). But that’s neither here nor there because the fact is Adam was NOT asking you to pay him to be a stay –at-home dad. He may be a sh*t disturber, but he’s certainly not dumb enough to alienate the people who are loyal to him and follow all of his blogs and Facebook posts no matter how brilliant or business savvy an idea like that would have been. What Adam was trying to do was turn what has become a pretty successful Facebook page and blog into a career. He was trying to evolve. So he could do better and be better for his kids. So he could do better and be better for YOU (those who enjoy his work and what he stands for)!
"All he was trying to do was give you more of himself, while at the same time living everyone’s dream of doing something he is passionate about for a living."
As someone who spends every day with him, let me tell you this: Adam spends a ridiculous amount of time working on Fodder4Fathers. He does it on top being a great father and his other TWO income providing jobs. Believe me, I know that this doesn’t make him some sort of hero. I know that there are MANY of you who work endless hours, one job on top of another job, just with the hope of making ends meet; single parents, low income families, financially unstable and struggling families. If we are good parents, if we love our kids, we do what we have to do, and our family is no different. So on top of doing what he does to bring home the (Canadian) bacon, he’s also up until all hours of the night blogging and posting and scheduling posts and replying to e-mails and I swear this to you… he does it because he loves it. He loves his kids and he loves you guys too. All he was trying to do was give you more of himself, while at the same time living everyone’s dream of doing something he is passionate about for a living.
I read the comments that people write on his page every day and I see how much his “fans” appreciate him for what he does. So he thought that it could be a great idea to give you more; to chronicle his daily life with DD and the Lil F’er. Meaning that maybe instead of reading about the hilarious things that come out of our daughters mouth, you would actually get to experience it. Maybe instead of reading what life is like taking them both to the grocery store while I’m out working, you could kind of join him. Maybe instead of hearing about the makeover that DD gave Adam in his sleep with my make-up, you would actually be able to watch it happen. And while I understand that these are all mundane situations that I’m sure every family goes through, I can assure you that there are not that many people that are willing to or care to chronicle it for thousands of people to see. And that’s the other thing; he wasn’t asking for a dollar a year from the world. He was asking for it from the people who apparently have an appreciation, and who get enjoyment from what he does on a daily basis.
"I actually think that he under-valued himself."
Like I said before, you couldn’t pay me enough to stay home every day with my kids. In fact, I don’t think there is ANY amount of money that could properly value how difficult it is to be a stay-at-home parent and for those of you who are one, I’m sure you will agree! (Have I told you how incredible I think you are?). So trust me when I tell you that making 50K a year is certainly not my husband’s idea of making a killing or taking advantage by doing something “simple” (one detractors words) like staying home with the kids. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Honestly, he chose that number because of how many followers he had. He figured and wanted to see how many of you would find it worth one dollar a YEAR to follow along with Fodder4Fathers and the daily hilarity, trials, and tribulations that ensue. It can’t be any less exciting than watching those Kardashian twits spend an hour agonizing over whether or not to get their roots done… But we watch it. (and by “we” I mean “I”… get your roots done Khloe… It’s TIME!)
As far as I’m concerned, I actually think that he under-valued himself. I think he’s worth WAY more than that, but maybe that’s just because I’m married to him. Maybe that’s just because I actually get to experience how fu**ing lucky I am to have such an involved father around my kids. I know that there are a whole bunch of you out there too who have husbands like mine or who are one of those fathers I’m talking about, so believe me, I don’t think I hit some sort of jack pot, (remember… flannel shirts and toe nail clippings often cancel the other stuff out anyway) but I do think that had I not married someone like Adam, my kids wouldn’t be half as incredible as they are.
But at the end of the day, the blogosphere caught wind of this story and ran in the completely wrong direction. Some have apologized having since learned the truth behind the situation, and some still think that Adam is a self righteous prick. So I guess what that means is that nothing has changed.
But if this was MY decision, and as the wife/boss of Adam (or so I’d like to think) maybe it is. I would tell him ask for that dollar a year. Let people choose if what they get from him daily is worth it to them. Maybe he’ll find out that it is and maybe he’ll find out that it isn’t. Either way, I doubt that will stop him from doing what he’s doing. Because if it’s one thing that I know about my husband, he’s a stubborn mother “F’er” and when you tell him that he can’t do something, hang on to your hat, because telling him that he can’t is all the fuel he needs to prove you wrong.
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